Can Stress Impact Menopause Symptoms?
A party that changed my life & three actionable tips for reducing stress.
Most of us know that chronic stress isn’t good for our health. And guess what? Menopause is no different. Chronic stress can and does impact the severity of menopause symptoms.
The good news is that upping your stress management game can dramatically improve the quality of your life, regardless of where you’re at in the menopause transition. In other words, this is the kind of work that will serve you well for the rest of your life, which makes it extra worthwhile.
Stress reduction generally falls into two main categories:
Ways to limit avoidable stress
Ways to manage unavoidable stress
The first category is the one I want to focus on today, simply because it’s an easier beast to tackle.
But first, a quick story:
I have a relative who throws an epic party each autumn. She goes all out with a theme, decorations, food and entertainment. She invites a gazillion people and somehow manages to seat them all for an incredible dinner. It’s truly an amazing event. And one year, we were in town when the party was scheduled so we helped set up before we headed out to our own event that evening.
And as I watched her direct all the helpers that day, I was absolutely amazed - she was cool as a cucumber the entire day. And as guests were set to arrive and she was still dressed in grubby work clothes and finishing last-minute to do’s, she didn’t show any outward signs of stress.
I’ve done my fair share of entertaining, and I knew that if our roles had been reversed I would have been a frazzled mess.
And that’s when it hit me: in certain situations, I could just decide not to be stressed. Like when orchestrating a party that’s meant to bring joy and build connection between you and your favorite people.
But I get that circumstances aren’t always this simple.
We absolutely live in a culture that often expects women to sacrifice their well-being for the comfort of others, which makes tackling that first category really challenging - it forces us and our loved ones to bump up against strong cultural currents.
Reducing avoidable stress may mean setting boundaries, delegating household tasks, challenging the expectations of friends and family, and reordering systems that serve everyone else but you. It may very well mean disappointing people who selfishly prefer the version of you that puts herself last.
But it also can be as simple as making a choice. Especially when we find ourselves totally stressed out over things that are of little consequence in the grand scheme of things - like a dinner party.
Here are a few suggestions as you contemplate how to reduce avoidable stress:
Take a brutally honest look at your calendar. If you’re looking at the coming months with a sense of dread or anxiety, that’s a sign that you need to make some adjustments. Disappointing your people is hard, but learning to respect your limitations and prioritize your well-being is important work.
Learn to communicate your needs. You have more options than saying no or playing the martyr. Let a friend or loved one know what you need in order for the situation to be a “yes” for you. This strategy has worked really well for me the last few years in a wide variety of situations.
Set limits for time spent on social media or reading the news. When the world feels like a dumpster fire, take action (make a donation, join a group, call a representative, etc.) and then give yourself a break from your phone to breathe, process and grieve. Taking action and then taking a restorative break helps to break cycles of chronic, unproductive stress that can lead to burnout and a more challenging menopause transition. I recently downloaded the Roots app to limit my time spent on social media and it’s been amazing for my mental health.
One last loving reminder: the only way out is through. The work of learning to identify and let go of avoidable stress can sometimes be easy, but it can also be messy, hard work. Be brave and willing to begin anyway, knowing that it takes time and that everyone will be the better for it - especially you.
xo, Rebecca